What is Relationship Counselling and How Can Seeing a Therapist Help?

“Relationship counselling”, “couples counselling” and “couples therapy” are all interchangeable terms.

Usually couples come to relationship counselling when there is a difficulty or problem. Sometimes this can be something very concrete, for example, an infidelity on the part of one of the couple. This sense of betrayal and consequential lack of trust can feel devastating, people describe it as their world coming crashing down but something as hurtful as an infidelity isn’t always the reason for relationship counselling.

Sometimes couples come to relationship counselling because something just doesn’t feel right. It could be something as simple as the initial first flush of the relationship has worn off and people don’t understand why. Sometimes the fun has disappeared. On occasions people are at the point of having to make a decision about whether to take the relationship to the next level for example by moving in together or buying a home together.

A trained relationship therapist will adopt a neutral stance and with their training and experience will explore with the couple possible underlying reasons for their issues and look at ways to improve matters. Sometimes the role of the couple’s counsellor is to enable the couple to detach in an amicable way causing the minimal amount of pain to each other, enabling each party to move on.

How effective is therapy in resolving relationship issues?

Therapy can be amazingly effective in resolving relationship difficulties. In seeking therapy, couples are taking a proactive step towards improving their relationship and working towards a healthier, happier partnership. It provides a safe and neutral space for couples to communicate only, address underlying issues, and learn effective communication and conflict resolution skills.

The golden rule here is that both individuals need to be on board – in other words committed to the process. It is no good trying to persuade your partner or spouse to come to couples therapy if they’re not invested because ‘You can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink’! When both individuals are committed and ready, willing, and able to invest the energy, time and money in their relationship that’s when the magic can happen.

If you and your partner are struggling with relationship issues, couples therapy can be a highly effective way to improve your relationship. It requires dedication, effort, and a willingness to work on yourself and your relationship, but the potential benefits are huge. Reach out to me and I can help guide you and your partner towards a healthier and happier relationship.

What happens at a relationships therapy session?

To get an idea of this you can watch the TV series Couples Therapy.

The therapist will want to find out a lot of information about each member of the couple. How did you meet? What attracted you to one another? When did problems start to arise? How do you understand why things have gone wrong? What was your family of origin like? These are the sort of questions a couple’s therapist will ask.

The therapist is a third eye and third ear trying to get inside your relationship itself, not taking sides or making judgements but trying to understand how your relationship works and how it can be made to thrive and flourish.

If you and your partner are experiencing difficulties in your relationship, make an appointment with me to work through your issues and improve your communication and understanding. It can be a powerful and transformative experience as you work together towards creating a healthier and happier future. Seeking my guidance and help to see how couples therapy can benefit your relationship.

How does a therapist help people with their relationship?

A trained and experienced relationships therapist will try to understand the underlying reasons why your relationship is stuck – what’s going in ‘under the hood’.

With his/her training they will try to get to any underlying reasons which may be completely outside of your awareness. He/she will work to provide a safe, non-judgemental space in which each member of the couple can speak openly without fear of being labelled the ‘guilty one’.

Relationships are co-created, in other words ‘It takes two to tango’. Paradoxically the very things that brought you both together can be the very same things which are now tearing you apart. Opposites attract - think of some celebrity couples about who you might wonder ‘What on earth brought those two together?’. On occasions our differences, those very same things which we found so attractive at the beginning, can be the subject of ongoing arguments about who is right and who is wrong.

A trained and experienced therapist will help you ‘get under the hood’, understand what’s going on and help you navigate your way through it and out the other side to a happier more fulfilling future.

Remember, it’s never too late to be happy.